Dear President Obama: What North Korea Might Say - Yahoo! News

By BILL POWELL Bill Powell – Tue Dec 22, 4:35 am ET

Dear President Obama,

So nice to hear from you, and let me just say that it's an honor to be pen pals with a third American President. (Your letter has joined the ones I received from Bush and Clinton in pride of place on my office bulletin board.) I know you guys all personally took the time to write me, but it's kind of funny - all your letters say more or less the same thing. Dear President Kim, before you stands a historic choice: you can either (A) join the family of nations, opening the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) to economic benefits, new trading relationships and diplomatic recognition from Washington, or (B) you can continue down the road of isolation and penury if you continue to develop nuclear weapons.

One of my aides tells me that some psychiatrist in the West once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting to get a different result. I thought that was pretty good, though I imagine in your State Department there are some folks who probably don't get the joke. But never mind. As you guys like to say, let me cut to the chase: In response to the choices you offer me, I choose B. Isolation. Penury. And nukes. (Most of all, nukes.) (See pictures of North Korea going to the polls.)

Now I know that you think that makes me insane. After all, I run one of the most impoverished countries in the world. Here, a boom year is any one in which we manage to avoid a famine that kills thousands. But you have to understand, what I value most is control. That's what my father, our country's heroic founder, the Great Leader Kim il-Sung, desired; it's what I desire; and I've pretty much bet the family jewels that my 26-year-old son, Kim Jong-Un, will want the same thing when he takes over in a few years. Absolute, total control over pretty much everything.

I recently changed the denominations of our currency to wipe out the savings of anyone who possessed over 300,000 won (basically a few hundred of your dollars). Why did I do this? Because a lot of those people had earned that money in private markets - which the Party here didn't control - and that made us nervous. Was that beneficial for our economy? No. But it kept us in control. (See rare pictures inside North Korea.)

So, by your standards, we are not 'rational.' I mean, look, we just had a planeload of missile parts intercepted in Thailand. I think you know where that plane was headed. Why in the world would we be shipping parts for our glorious Taepodong 2 missile to Iran, when the entire world is worried about their nuclear program? Because some of my close comrades here in the Party run the trading company that sells the missiles, and the way I keep them loyal is to let them make some money.

Now don't me wrong. It's a problem that the plane was intercepted, mostly because it puts the comrades in Beijing in a difficult spot. You could lobby them for more restrictive economic sanctions against us, just as you are now doing with Iran, and they are not comfortable with either - even though they might go along, at least part ways, in order not to seem out of step with the rest of you. (Read 'U.S. Tries Direct Talks with North Korea.')

But as far as we're concerned, this will blow over. If we've learned anything over the last decade, it's that China is never really going to isolate us economically. They don't want a repeat of the starvation of the late 1990s, which flooded the northeastern part of their country with our refugees. Without Beijing's help, you're never going to muster enough economic pressure to change our ways. And my nuclear ace-in-the-hole ensures that no one will really mess with us. Why in the world would I ever give that up?

So here's what I suggest: Let's take the three steps you guys always propose in your letters - denuclearization, leading to economic benefits, leading to diplomatic recognition - and flip them: Recognize the DPRK and normalize relations first, because it should be obvious to you guys by now that our regime is not going anywhere. Then, lend us some money, build a power plant or two, maybe help us with agriculture and food production. And then, after a while - a decade, perhaps? - if enough trust has been built up, then maybe we'd start to think about getting rid of our nukes.

Maybe.

Anyway, thanks for writing, Barack. Always good to hear from you U.S. Presidents, even if you do always say the same thing.

Yours truly,

The Dear Leader

Kim Jong Il"

Uganda criticized over anti-gay proposals - CNN.com: "Uganda criticized over anti-gay proposals December 10, 2009 3:43 p.m. EST Demonstrators protest outside the Ugandan embassy in central London. Demonstrators protest outside the Ugandan embassy in central London. STORY HIGHLIGHTS * Homosexuality illegal in Uganda but lawmakers considering tougher laws * Proposals include life sentences, death penalty as punishments for gay sex * Tatchell: Proposals 'threaten civil rights of every Ugandan person -- gay or straight' London, England (CNN) -- Protesters called on the worldwide community to take action against Uganda Thursday as the African nation considers stricter laws against homosexuality. They compared Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni to some of the world's most notorious dictators. 'In the last five years we have seen Idi Amin return to Uganda and his name is Yoweri Museveni,' Ugandan human rights campaigner Michael Senyonjo told CNN. 'He... is bringing in a bill in an attempt to criminalize being gay,' the activist said. 'That is not right. We cannot allow fascism to return to Uganda. He should leave power and go because he is not taking the country anywhere but to disaster,' he added. Under proposed new laws currently being considered by the Ugandan parliament, those who test positive for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, could face the death penalty. In addition, those convicted of having gay sex would be sentenced to life in prison, while anyone found guilty of engaging in homosexual relations on more than one occasion would be executed. The proposals could become law before the end of the year. Museveni has not publicly stated his support for the bill. Homosexuality is already illegal in Uganda under laws passed in the colonial era, but the new legislation is intended to provide prosecutors with more power. It has the blessing of various religious leaders, with one leading Muslim cleric -- Sheikh Ramathan Shaban Mubajje -- calling for all known homosexuals in the country to be rounded up and left on an island until they die. Thursday's protest at the Ugandan High Commission -- or embassy -- in London is one of several planned demonstrations around the world, and OutRage, another gay rights organization, is backing the calls for action to be taken. 'President Museveni is fast becoming the Robert Mugabe of Uganda and that's a threat to the civil rights of every Ugandan person -- gay or straight,' OutRage spokesman Peter Tatchell told CNN, referring to the authoritarian president of Zimbabwe. 'There's a huge ground swell of public opinion that this bill goes way too far. Even people who say they're against homosexuality say this bill is excessive and a threat to the human rights of all Ugandans. 'Uganda should drop this law and abide by international human rights legislation,' Tatchell said."

A Tribute To The Late King Of Pop Michael Jackson ( R.I.P)

“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.” M.J

In our darkest hour, in my deepest despair, Will you still care? Will you be there? In my trials and my tribulations, Through our doubts and frustrations, In my violence and my turbulence, Through my fear and my confessions, And my anguish and my pain, Through my joy and my sorrow, In the promise of another tomorrow, I'll never let you part,

For you're always in my heart. (will you be there)

Michael Jackson has set many records throughout his career and won many awards. From the early days of the Jackson 5 to the current day. Michael Jackson has been in a league of his own with his best competition being himself and trying to improve on what he has already achieved. He are a just a few of the record breaking achievements.

Biggest Selling Album Of All Time - Guiness Book Of World Records

Michael Jackson's "Thriller" Album is the biggest selling album of all time, with over 50 million copies sold worldwide. Thriller is also the biggest selling U.S album with sales of 25 million copies.

Most No1 Hits in 1980's

By The End of the 1980's MIchael Jackson had more #1 hits than any other artist for the decade.

Greatest Audience - Guiness Book Of World Records

The highest-ever viewership was 133.4 million viewers watching the NBC transmission of Super Bowl XXVII on June 31, 1993. Michael was spotlighted during the half-time peformance.

Bad Tour - Guiness Book Of World Records

Michael Jackson's world tour brought in a record gross revenue of over $124 million during September 1987-December 1988.

100 Million Records

Michael has sold over 100 million singles and albums outside of the U.S.

Billboard Charts

Michael Jackson is the first person in the 37 year history of the Billboard chart to enter straight in at No1, with his single "You Are Not Alone". The previous record "Earth Song" which had debuted at No5 and also Michael Jacksons.

Biggest Selling Video

Michael Jackson's "The Making Of Thriller" is the biggest selling video to be released by an artist.

Billboard "Hot 100" Singles Chart

Most No1 Hits by Male Artist (13)

No1 Debuts

Michael Jacksons "Bad", "Dangerous", and "HIStory" albums all debuted in at No1.

Awards

Michael has won more awards than any other artist.

No1 On Charts

In 1983 Michael became the first artist to simultaneously hold the number one spots on Billboard's rock albums and rock singles charts, as well as the R&B albums and singles charts.

Consecutive No1 Singles

Jackson 5 were the first group to ever have four consecutive No1 singles.

The real bootylicious.....gotta give it to them.

If u did this or saw it......u probably went to a kenyan high school

1.Before uende form 1,u had to buy sanduku za mabati...ati burglarproof,and bado zilikuwa zikivunjwa.

2.U had to borrow a leave out kuenda nyumbani...which was like next to impossible.

3.Uliosha shati na troja za mafourth........na ukikosa hukuwa unalala chuo.

4.Siku ya first ulihandwa ati upatiane zile chapo na nyagu ulitoka nazo home,ati wewe tajiri.

5.For some of u,manze the fact that mlikuwa na entrance exams really f***** u off.

6.Manze siku za mail delivery zilikuwa the most important,especially kama ulikuwa na mamanzi.

7.In relation to number 6,the whole class used to write one mail,kila mtu na sentance yake,then use recycled stamps...tumia colgate na toilet role to recycle.

8.Mlikuwa mnaimba national anthem on Mondays or fridays or both,half the time off tune or corrupted words.

9.Guyz used to skive preps kuenda kulala ama kuwasha.

10.Guyz used to extend kwa CU room ati ndio msihandwe na mafourth.

11.Breko ilikuwa kuhatishana....unahatisha wadhii mkate na blueband.

12.U had the most insensible prefects...manze unambaiya keroro sato usiku lakini monday yeye ndio anakukinda kwa princi...ati uliskive chuo.

13.Guyz used to skip showerz like crazy...unashower siku tatu kwa term;siku ya kuopen chuo,siku ya kuenda home mid-term,na siku ya kufunga chuo.Ukijaribu sana ni siku nne aterm,with the fourth one being either siku ya music fests ama CU weekend.

14.Maboyzz used to soma mail zilikuwa zimetoka kwa mamanzi zao to the whole class,unamark na kuweka marks,then return the mail to whoever wrote it.

15.Music fests.....hebu jitokeze,jionyeshe....skills za kukatia.

16.In relation to number 15,manze mono angeslice fourth former manzi wake....ati kamutii

17.Time ya music fests ilikuwa time ya kuamshana mashati...if u left urs hanging ukirudi kumbe ilicrossi kitambo...or ilibadilishwa ukaachiwa the dirty one.

18.Siku ya box inspection......manze mna keroro kwa keja lakini ondiso hataiona...wherever watu walikuwa wakificha.

19.Siku ya challenge weekend population ya wakristo used to go up...kuimpress mamanzi.

20.U had more role calls on the weekends than on the weekdays.

21.We had the most ridiculous names for schools....Quabzz,changez,ditchez,boma,bush,quortet,patch,patch fake,chox.

22.The Insyder....enuff said!!

23.Academic Bonfire after KCSE....who wouldn't miss that??

24.U actually knew colors za tai za every school,na during music fests ulisove moja plus sweater yako from someone from the other school.

25.U went to a symposium kuhanya.....ehh i know i will hear an amen hapo!!

26.After KCSE....Leaver's Rock.

27.Uliperfect skill ya kurewind skirts,blouses na shati during the school term.

28.Ilikuwa inafika friday afternoon unaanza kutafuta ni trip gani to a certain school utadandia.

29. Manze guyz used to ngojea mpaka stima zilost....NO PREP.

30. Githeri 24/7....change only occured when u go home.

31. How about monolization....manze u r told shika shoe brush usugue mti hadi it becomes as clean as ur home.....na unaambiwa utumie OMO.

32. Who kumbukaz the sign DO NOT STEP ON THE GRASS.Do that and u would regret it.

33. In relation to funkiez,the school bus would come back with more people than actually left the school to begin with.

34. Wakati wa breakfast,lunch or dinner,u had to pray with one eye and the other eye opened,otherwise by the time umemaliza kuomba,fourth former alishacrosi na dibre ama nyagu za table....talk of the table system.

35. Break time the shopkepper was the best friend.Everyone used to scrum hapo...ati vibrator and half loaf.

36.Who remembers the crap which was called sato entertainment???

37.For some of you,mlilala na chuma chini ya godoro...ati weapons of mass destruction!!!

38.People did everything possible to have a funkie their school....in the name of kuleta members of the opposite sex.As a result,hungejua there were some clubs in some schools hadi you see mabasi za chuo ya opposite sex...thats when u realised there was a club like that.

Kenyan women hit men with sex ban

Kenyan women hit men with sex ban Ida Odinga (L) and Lucy Kibaki The wives of the Kenyan president and PM have been asked to join in Women's activist groups in Kenya have slapped their partners with a week-long sex ban in protest over the infighting plaguing the national unity government. The Women's Development Organisation coalition said they would also pay prostitutes to join their strike. The campaigners are asking the wives of the Kenyan president and the prime minister to join in the embargo. They say they want to avoid a repeat of the violence which convulsed the country after the late-2007 elections. Relations between Kenya's coalition partners, led by President Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga, have become increasingly acrimonious. Now the dispute has moved to the nation's bedrooms. Lead from the front Patricia Nyaundi, executive director of the Federation of Women Lawyers (Fida), one of the organisations in the campaign, said they hoped the seven-day sex ban would force the squabbling rivals to make up. President Mwai Kibaki (R) and Prime Minister Raila Odinga Great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands: 'Darling can you do something for Kenya?' Patricia Nyaundi Federation of Women Lawyers She said the campaign would start from her bedroom and that emissaries had been sent to the two leaders' wives, Ida Odinga and Lucy Kibaki, urging them to join in and lead from the front. "Even commercial sex workers should join in the campaign which is so vital to the country," Mrs Nyaundi told the BBC's Focus on Africa programme. "Great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands: 'Darling can you do something for Kenya?'" But the BBC's Anne Waithera in Nairobi says the campaign is likely to meet stiff resistance from some men. Our correspondent says some would argue that Kenyan men cannot even abstain for two days. The campaign is being backed by several other lobby groups, including the Caucus for Women's Leadership and Maendeleo ya Wanawake - a nationwide network of women's groups in rural Kenya. Mr Kibaki and Mr Odinga agreed to share power last year to end post-election violence, which had left some 1,500 people dead and forced 300,000 from their homes. But the deal has soured with the premier's party claiming he has been sidelined and protesting over everything from electoral reform to the lack of a toilet for Mr Odinga during one recent official visit.

For people who really have experienced life in Russia and those who wish to know how it feels to live in Russia

You have been a student in Russia if:

1. You take your shoes off every single time you get into some ones house even if you don’t have to

2. You know at least three Dima Bilan’s song, even though you say you don’t like him

3. In fact you kinda cry when he won Eurovision 2007

4. Viagra is not just a medicine, it is also a music group that has the exact same effect

5. You know that Russia IS NOT Europe

6. You know that matryoshka is not only a tipic toy, but the reality of the Russian woman past her 50s

7. You know 50 Sashas, Sergeys, Olias, Lenas and Katias

8. You found out that the Russians won World War 2 and the Americans just showed up at the end

9. You lived in the общежитие

10. You used to hide the bottles of beer and vodka from the вахтершка

11. If the вахтершка finds out you just pay her for the комендант not to find out

12. If somehow the комендант foud out and enters your room the exact moment when you are having a toast with your friends, you just offer him a drink

13. He actually accepts the drink

14. The most horrible times of your life have to do with the сессия

15. You took care of your зачетка more than your passport

16. You know what a Зачет and an Экзамен is, and that the difference between them is that one is more expensive than the other

17. You loose the tension drinking

18. You drank vodka when you were sad

19. You drank vodka when you were happy

20. You drank vodka because there was nothing better to do

21. You made a toast before every drink and sometimes you even tell jokes

22. You heard Russian jokes, you get to understand Russian jokes, you get to honestly laugh with them, you learn to tell them and people really enjoy it

23. Beer was and appetizer to vodka

24. You drank the beer hot and with Рыбка (smoke fish)

25. At least one time you sat in a public place to drink vodka in an under zero day and by your own will

26. You start to drink with strangers and they became your lifelong pals

27. Пельмени was your favorite meal because it cooks in 10 minutes

28. You put сметана to everything

29. Борщ is the most delicious soup there is and you cannot picture your life without it!

30. You drank Чай in winter and Квас in summer

31. When you feel cigarette smell you remember Russia for some reason

32. You use the word Прикин anytime you wanted to add emotion to a conversation

33. You think Putin is the best president ever

34. You hate cats!

35. You found out about what happen in world war 2, in the soviet union, after the soviet union, about Putins former job as a spy in Germany not from your history teacher but from the old lady sitting next to you in the bus that for some reason started asking you the time and end up with a whole life biography with real history events

36. You have argued more than one time with a бабушка that doesn’t respect the line in the bank

37. You no longer ask for ice for your drink, and don’t even think about looking in the store

38. You know more bad words in Russian than in your language, because simply there is more bad words in Russian than in your language

39. You are always worried about the weather

40. You are surprised that there are no 24 hour shops in your country

41. People scream at you in the street and you have no reaction what so ever, in fact you start to scream too, not because your angry, is simply the way we speak in Russia

42. …you hate Russia, you wait eagerly the moment to return to your country, but once you are in your country you found that you actually miss Russia, in some tiny little hidden place of your heart, really inside you LOVE Russia. You can’t live with her, you can’t live without her. Without notice it she’s already part of you, and you will always have a special place in your heart for her, Великая Россия, a Russia that is not ours but we love her as she was, we can call it ours наша, наша Russia!

Ryanair mulls charge for toilets

Michael O'Leary: 'People might have to spend a pound to spend a penny'

Irish budget airline Ryanair has said it is considering charging passengers for using the toilet while flying.

Chief executive Michael O'Leary told the BBC that the Dublin-based carrier was looking at maybe installing a "coin slot on the toilet door".

Consumer group Which? said the airline was putting "profit before passengers".

Ryanair's PR chief Steven McNamara later played down the idea, saying: "I don't think it's going to happen in the foreseeable future".

"Will it happen long-term, I'm not really sure," he said.

"It's one of those things that when Michael starts looking at something, you know, it's always up for discussion."

Last week Ryanair confirmed it planned to close all of its airport check-in desks by the end of the year in a bid to reduce the cost of its flights.

'Fast buck'

Ryanair aims to offer low basic ticket prices, and then charge extra for items such as checking in at the airport or for additional luggage.

"One thing we have looked at in the past, and are looking at again, is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door, so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in future," he told the BBC.

He added: "I don't think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound."

But Rochelle Turner, head of research at Which? Holiday, said: "It seems Ryanair is prepared to plumb any depth to make a fast buck and, once again, is putting profit before the comfort of its customers.

"Charging people to go to the toilet might result in fewer people buying overpriced drinks on board, though - that would serve Ryanair right."

THE STELLA AWARDS

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners:

7th Place:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

6th Place:

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place:

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Kenya Steals the Show With Upset Win

Kenya beat New Zealand for the first time in 14 attempts to proceed with them and the rest of the top seeds to the Cup quarter finals at the USA Sevens in San Diego.

Los Teros of Uruguay gave the USA Sevens its first shock result by upsetting the Kenyans 14-12 in their opening match, but the African side performed the ultimate recovery job in beating the Kiwis at the end of the day. South Africa, Samoa and Fiji were all unbeaten at PETCO Park

Knowing that only victory against the kiwis was enough to stay in the Cup, the Kenyans started well with tries by captain Humphrey Kayange and Brian Nyikuli. New Zealand, missing several key players but still a force in the game, hit back through Tu Umaga-Marshall to trail 14-7 at the break but two tries by Victor Oduor sparked mass celebrations from the thousands of amassed Kenyan fans present in the generous crowd.

Earlier, World Cup-bound Uruguay caused an early upset by beating the Kenyans 14-12. The Uruguayans scored two tries through Santiago Carracedo and Santiago Gibernau and then defended with their lives to shut the Africans out for much of the match. Matias Arocena slotted both conversions for Los Teros, while only one of Kenya's tries by Lavin Asego and Collins Injera went converted.

Benjamin Ayimba, Kenya coach

"It was a very bad start and we knew we had to raise our game. It was probably a blessing in disguise losing that game [against Uruguay] because then we always went a notch higher in the next games that we played and ultimately of course playing New Zealand and beating them three tries to one, which is definitely an achievement.

"The commitment of the boys has been exemplary. Back home they've had to leave jobs and school and sometimes it weighs down on them but this time they responded."

Humphrey Kanyange, Kenya captain

"What a day. We like doing it the hard way and really responded well in the last two games, it's a sign of what's going to come in the World Cup.

"What we want to achieve in the World Cup now looks much more possible."